In today’s news environment, you probably have become adept at having your brain tune bad things out. Unfortunately, when you try to tune out information that upsets you, you may also be tuning out things that might be beneficial as well, like good advice.
We Are Emotional Beings
If you want to connect with another human being, you need to touch them emotionally. My mentor Roy H. Williams aka The Wizard of Ads taught me that you must first touch a person’s heart before you will win their mind.
Did you ever realize that the human eye is unique? We are the only living creatures that have white in our eyes. The design of the human eye enables us to know where another person is looking (or not looking). Through our eye contact, we are better able to connect with another human being.
Our eyes also reveal whether or not we are being authentic when dealing with others.
The other evening, while my wife Sue was exercising on our treadmill in the basement, she had a song blasting out of the sound system that was so infectious, I had to go into the cellar to find out what it was.
When I asked Sue about the name of the song, she said “I don’t know, I just asked Alexa to play Disney songs.”
That song was immediately purchased and downloaded to my iTunes library. I find it inspirational. Here are the lyrics:
I messed up tonight
I lost another fight
Lost to myself, but I’ll just start again
I keep falling down
I keep on hitting the ground
But I always get up now to see what’s next
Birds don’t just fly
They fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it wrong
Look how far you’ve come
You filled your heart with love
Baby, you’ve done enough
Take a deep breath
Don’t beat yourself up
No need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last, but we did our best
I’ll keep on making those new mistakes
I’ll keep on making them every day
Those new mistakes
I won’t give up
No, I won’t give in till I reach the end
And then I’ll start again
No, I won’t leave
I want to try everything
I want to try even though I could fail
I love this song because no matter what the endeavor, no one does it perfectly out-of-the-box. We screw things up royally. It’s the human condition. But by practice and self-improvement we can master anything we put our mind to.
However, we often don’t see behind the curtain of people we admire, about their long, mistake-filled process, that led to the person we now know. We often think they were just born gifted. No one is.
People don’t connect with your successes;
they connect with your messes.”
Over my career in both broadcasting and college teaching, I’ve learned that success taught me very little, but when I messed up, I learned a lot.
When things are going great, the natural impulse is not to do anything to upset the apple cart.
Likewise, when teaching another person, only sharing your successes imparts very little knowledge about the process that led you to achieve those successes.
However, when you share the things that went wrong, and how you learned from these little disasters, and how you changed course to not have something like that happen again, real knowledge is shared. It inspires others.
Nobody Learns Without Getting It Wrong
My students told me how impactful my sales lectures were when they contained stories about the things I did wrong, learned and grew from, by messing everything up.
“WOW,” they would say, “here’s a teacher that doesn’t know it all, that makes mistakes” and, in the process, became a better person. It let them know that failure isn’t fatal and can provide some benefits.
Success is not final;
Failure is not fatal:
It is the courage to continue that counts.
Pull Back Your Curtain
Don’t be afraid to share yourself with others. Let them in and show them you’re human.
My sales mantra when calling on a new business was always to Make A Friend on my first visit. People buy from people they know and like. They buy from their friends.
Re-Capping the 3 Ways to Inspire & Connect
- Touch people emotionally
- Make eye contact
- Allow people to connect with you, by sharing your messes
People don’t care how much you know,
until they know how much you care.